Welcome to the ESPYs! You know, that awards show that happens on a Wednesday on ESPN? Yeah, they give out awards to athletes who are like Thanks, but I totally have an actual championship ring back at home.
Ive personally never felt the need to watch the awards show, or as host Jon Hamm calls it the worlds largest gathering of people wearing sunglasses indoors, but the idea of missing theMad Men star hosting was too risky to pass up.Those of you whove seenHamm guest on30 Rock or make a cameo inBridesmaids knows that the man with immeasurable beauty can crack a joke or two, and tonights awards were no different. Showing no mercy, Hamm poked fun at Dwight Howard, the city of Detroit, and swimmer Ryan Lochte. Some examples of his killer lines: Honestly, Ive always been a little wary of the BCS system. I just feel like you cant completely trust something just because a computer says it. and Manti Teo fake internet girlfriend or a real girlfriend who goes to Notre Dame? Pretty much the same amount of sex. Boom. (Check out Hamms full monologue.)
We were off to a good start, and thankfully, the show very rarely lost its steam, thanks to some on-point sketches shown in between the awards. Here are the top 10 things that I took away from it:10.) Wow, Jon Hamm looks good in a suit
9.) But why is his voice so raspy?
8.) Athletes are sometimes painful to listen to. And for some reason, the ESPYs dont implore the same rude orchestra that other awards shows like the Oscars use, so speeches go on, and on, and on, and on. Never have I been so uncomfortable as I was when Adrian Peterson thanked his mom, his dad, his trainer, the rehab, and even his private chefs.
7.) Theres a Best Comeback award? Why dont we have that at the Oscars? That would get rid of all the Wow, you really surprised us with this role, heres an Oscar statuettes and back to the Oh wow, your performance is actually better than the others awards.
6.) Sketches during awards shows can either spark or drown. Thankfully, Hamm had some very clever tricks up his sleeve.Saturday Night Live star Jay Pharaoh knocked his Jay-Z impression out of the park, while Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peeles Great Start idea was genius. Plus Bill Hader acting as Russian President Vladimir Putin and 30 Rock starJack McBrayer as one of the substitute NFL refs? You cant go wrong.
5.) What is Paula Patton on? Theres no doubt that shes incredibly talented and beautiful, but she looked like she was going to smile her way out of her body. Maybe shes happy that her husband has the song of the summer? Someone give this woman a Tolstoy novel, stat.
4.) Girl power! Maria Sharapova towered over fellow presenter Kevin Bacon while Tate Donovan (why are you here?) was caught in Kerri Walshs shadow.
3.) The kick-ass music. Fall Out Boy, Ellie Goulding, fun. the ESPYs had the perfect amount of pump-up music mixed in with a little sadness for your evening cry.
2/1.) Its a tie. Jack Hoffman, the young boy suffering from pediatric brain cancer, and the Hoyts, a father and son duo, both made me bawl. The Nebraska football team let Jack play with them, and the sight of those players hoisting Jack up after a touchdown? I cant. And then there was the Hoyts, who for 37 years have run hundreds of races together, with the father pushing his cerebral palsy-stricken son the entire way. I-need-a-tissue.
Overall, the ESPYs were pretty fun, even though a lot of the references went right over my head. What did you think, PopWatchers? Is it worth tuning in next year?
Source: http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/07/18/the-espys-2013/
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